Discernment Counseling is a short-term process, typically involving up to five sessions. The first session lasts about two hours, with the remaining sessions running 1.5 to 2 hours each. You and your partner will attend together, but much of the meaningful work happens in individual conversations with the counselor. This is because couples often come into the process in very different emotional places—one partner may be “leaning in,” hoping to save the marriage, while the other may be “leaning out,” uncertain about staying.

The counselor’s role is to honor each person’s perspective, including the reasons one may be considering ending the relationship, while gently helping the “leaning-out” partner explore the possibility of reconciliation. Each session focuses on understanding your own contributions to the relationship’s struggles, as well as what it would take to move forward—either together or apart. Even if the marriage doesn’t continue, this self-reflection can offer valuable insight for future relationships.

If you and your partner are unsure whether to stay or separate, Discernment Counseling can bring clarity. Whether you're leaning out and questioning if traditional couples therapy is right, or you're leaning in and hoping to rebuild, this approach gives both of you the space to explore all options and move toward a confident decision.

By the end of the process, you’ll have a clearer understanding of your relationship and a sense of direction—whether that’s committing to repair, choosing to divorce, or taking a break to reflect further.