A Night of Remembrance: Honoring Grief, Together | Thrive

Grief, when carried alone, can feel like the heaviest thing in the world. But something shifts when you sit in a room with others who understand — not because you've explained yourself, but because they already know.

That is what our Night of Remembrance was built for. And what unfolded that evening exceeded everything we had hoped to create. Four couples came through our doors carrying quiet grief — the kind that doesn't have a simple language, the kind that too often goes unnamed in everyday life.

Perinatal loss remains one of the most isolating experiences a family can face. The world moves on quickly. Others don't always know what to say. And so many parents are left holding something profound, with very little space to set it down. That evening, they found that space.

The Evening

A Safe Place to Explore Loss

From the moment our guests arrived, the intention was clear: this was not a clinical setting. It was a sanctuary. Couples were welcomed into a space designed to feel safe, unhurried, and deeply human — a place where there was no pressure to process in any particular way, and no agenda beyond connection and honoring.

Led by Stacey O'Connell, LCPC, PMH-C, a certified bereavement care provider, and Jennesa Gober, LPC, PMH-C, both Perinatal Mental Health Certified clinicians, the evening was carefully designed to honor each couple's unique experience of loss while also cultivating genuine community. The balance of those two things — deeply personal and warmly collective — is what made it so powerful.

As the evening unfolded, something beautiful happened. The room — which had begun with the particular stillness of people who don't yet know how much they can trust — slowly softened. Shoulders dropped. Voices steadied. Expressions of grief that had perhaps been held tightly for a long time began to move through the space more freely. Couples shared. They listened. They discovered that others had felt exactly what they had felt — the isolation, the invisibility of their loss, the longing for someone to simply say: I understand. This is real. You are not alone.

• "We felt validated."
• "Someone finally understood our pain."
• "It would be so nice to be able to talk with the people that were here tonight again in the future."
• "We got new ideas on how we can support ourselves as we heal."
• "It was nice getting examples on how to ask our support systems for help and understanding."

— Attendees, Night of Remembrance

From the Clinicians

What It Meant to Hold This Space

Creating this event required more than good intentions — it required specialized training, clinical expertise in perinatal grief, and a deep respect for the complexity of loss at every stage. Stacey's certification in bereavement care and both clinicians' PMH-C credentials meant that every element of the evening was thoughtfully designed with the specific vulnerabilities and needs of perinatal loss in mind.

"It was an honor to know that we created something for clients that was very individualized while also supporting the idea of creating community that could grieve side by side. It was so special to watch people slowly relax, connect, and share expressions of grief through their experiences."

Stacey O'Connell — LCPC, PMH-C · Certified Bereavement Care Provider
Jennesa Gober — LPC, PMH-C · Perinatal Mental Health Certified

What struck both clinicians most was the visible transformation in the room across the evening — the way grief, when witnessed and held communally, loses some of its most isolating weight. Participants arrived as strangers. They left with something rare and hard to find: the feeling of being truly understood.

The Presence That Needed No Introduction

Charlotte, Thrive's therapy dog, was present throughout the entire evening — and her contribution was anything but incidental. There is something about the gentle weight of a dog beside you in a moment of grief that words simply cannot replicate.

For attendees navigating some of the most difficult emotions of their lives, Charlotte offered exactly what was needed: calm, non-judgmental, unconditional presence. She moved through the room quietly, settling beside whoever seemed to need her most — helping to regulate the nervous system and allowing participants to stay present with their grief rather than be overwhelmed by it.

Her calming presence contributed to a sense of peace throughout the evening, creating a softer atmosphere in which couples could engage with their grief from a more grounded and supported place.

The Heart of the Evening

Designing a Leaf on the Tree of Remembrance

At the center of the evening was an act both simple and profound: each couple had the opportunity to design a leaf — a physical, tangible marker — bearing the name of their baby, to be placed permanently on Thrive's Tree of Remembrance.

The Tree of Remembrance

The Tree of Remembrance lives on the wall of our Hoffman Estates office — a living testament to the babies who are loved, remembered, and named. Each leaf on the tree represents a life that mattered. A baby who was longed for. A family forever changed.

For the couples who participated in the Night of Remembrance, placing their leaf on the tree was not merely symbolic — it was an act of claiming their grief as real, their baby as real, their loss as worthy of being seen and honored publicly.

The tree grows with every family that trusts us with their story. And it stands as a quiet, daily reminder to everyone who walks through our doors: you are not the only one, and your baby is not forgotten.

The leaf-designing activity also gave couples a tangible creative outlet for grief — something to do with their hands, something to carry home in their hearts, and something that remains on our wall long after the evening ended. Many participants described it as one of the most meaningful moments of the night.

What the Evening Showed Us

The Power of Grief in Community

• Community Eases Isolation — Attendees described forming an immediate sense of connection with others navigating similar loss.
• Language Heals — Having words and frameworks gave couples practical tools.
• Individualized Within Community — Each experience remained unique while shared.
• Embodied Support Matters — Healing is not only verbal.

Looking Ahead

This Is Just the Beginning

The success of our first Night of Remembrance has confirmed what we always believed: there is a deep, unmet need for spaces where perinatal loss can be grieved openly, collectively, and with the kind of specialized, compassionate support this grief deserves.

At Thrive, we are committed to continuing to create those spaces. Whether in individual therapy, couples work, or community gatherings like this one, we believe every baby deserves to be remembered — and every family deserves to not grieve alone.

If you have experienced perinatal loss and would like to be notified about future Nights of Remembrance, please reach out. We would be honored to hold space for you and your family.

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This post is for reflective and informational purposes and does not constitute clinical advice. If you are in crisis, please call 988 or 1-833-TLC-MAMA.