How to Support Your Partner After Baby: A Therapist’s Guide

Inspired by Postpartum Partner by Karen Kleiman

Bringing a baby into the world is life-changing and while the birthing parent often receives care and attention, their partner can feel unsure about how to support, connect, or even cope themselves. As therapists, we know that support during the postpartum period is crucial not only for mental health, but for relationship resilience.

Here’s how partners can offer meaningful support after baby, drawn from therapeutic insight and Karen Kleiman’s Postpartum Partner.

1. Show Up, Even When It’s Hard

Support doesn’t always mean knowing what to say. It often means just being there. Sit beside your partner, listen without trying to fix, and offer presence over solutions. Feeling helpless is common. Being present is powerful.

2. Validate, Don’t Minimize

Postpartum emotions can feel like a rollercoaster. Instead of saying “you’re overreacting” or “just sleep more,” validate what your partner is experiencing. Try:

“This sounds so hard. I’m here with you.”
“I see how much you’re carrying.”

Validation is grounding. It builds safety and trust in the relationship.

3. Get Curious About Their Experience

Ask open-ended questions to understand their inner world:

• “What’s been the hardest part of today for you?”

• “What feels supportive right now?”

• “What are you needing most in this moment?”
  

Karen Kleiman emphasizes that curiosity signals emotional presence. You don’t need to solve, just ask and listen.

4. Step In Without Being Asked

Invisible labor is exhausting. Support means anticipating needs.

• Take over nighttime feedings when possible

• Cook or order nourishing food

• Manage appointments or baby tasks

• Give them space for a walk, shower, or quiet moment
  

This kind of proactive support reinforces that they are not alone.

5. Support Your Own Mental Health

Partners matter too. If you feel overwhelmed, resentful, or shut down, it’s okay. Seek your own support. Couples therapy, peer groups, or individual counseling can help you show up more fully, and sustainably.

If your relationship is feeling stretched or lost in the shuffle, you’re not alone. Thrive’s couples therapists are here to help you reconnect, repair, and rebuild during this tender transition. Book a consultation now.